childeishly | 🐳 imeeji; inbox.

[ he'd mentioned his siblings before, but not his parents, so this is news for him ]

... I see. So you used to help taking care of your family.

[ which explains why he wanted to take care of him, if that's how he felt useful before ]

…yeah. My older siblings took jobs as soon as my father fell ill and my sister starting helping my mom around the house, but there were just so many of us that I couldnt leave it to just here. And even when I joined the ranks of the Fatui I still sent stuff back; mora, gifts, and medicine. I might not be able to be there for them, but that didnt abstain me from my resposibility to them. Family means a lot to me… [ smiles down at the veges he’s chopping. ] And I have to make sure they’ll be well to do when I’m gone.

... Well. I guess your job does seem to be dangerous, so that makes sense. But I'm pretty sure they'd rather have you there instead, so don't die.

Haha. Collecting debt from low-life scum isn’t *that* big of a deal. [ … ] Maybe. [ he stops what he’s doing for a half a second, hesitating, but he gets right back to it. ] My father conscripted me into the Fatui at 14 because I caused nothing but problems back home. Picking fights and starting shit… he thought it’d help. It… did and it didn’t. I made short work of a number of trained soldiers and caught the eye of one of the Tsarita’s Harbingers and they nurtured my chaotic nature. [ he doesn’t necessarily resent him, since he got to fight and kill and all that, but he knows he disappointed him. ] I don’t know what’s going to happen when we inevitably all go to war, but I’m sure I won’t make it through that… and not for lack of strength and cunning. [ smirks. ] …you know the Foul Legacy transformation I showed you?

… I remember it, yes. What about it?

I fell into something called the abyss as a kid - a dark world beneath Teyvat filled with all sorts of creatures. It’s a cursed place that most people don’t get to see let alone like to talk about…

I learned that technique there, from my master, and my resilience along with her teachings are, of course, that helped me to survive. [ he’s stopped doing anything else by this point, eyes staring through the counter. ] But you don’t go to the abyss and get out, at least not unscathed, …and using the technique puts a dangerous strain on my body. One day I may not be in control when I transform… back home, of course. [ here it’s already a shit show. ]

So that's what's been haunting you singe you got here.

[ None of that sounds good, but of course the implication he's not only likely to die in the war but to lose control of himself the more he uses this technique, well. doesn't make him happy ]

And I imagine not using it is just not an option.

...the nightmare I got from Lilith had to do with the Abyss and then I foolishly thought I could take my mind off of it with a trip to the Escape Room, but that turned into another nightmare when it ended up plunging all of us into something resembling the Abyss. It's been weighing heavily on my mind since all of that. I normally don't think or talk about it, because there's really no point. It's a thing that happened, I made it through, and I've only become stronger since...

But I supposes it's gotten more difficult to keep my thoughts from wandering. [ he turns to look at five and laughs. ] I'm doomed no matter what, so I may as well use it when I absolutely have to.

You're not going to die. I'm going to find a solution. There's no way I'm going to just let you go like that.

[ there's the other part he needs to address, but that's his immediate, knee-jerk reaction. Surely this is yet another puzzle he can solve. Surely if he tries he can solve it. ]

[ wow, ok, that's... not something he'd been expecting. he just stares at five, unblinking, his face coloring a bit, but he's quick to look away. ]

You... don't have to expend your energy on me, sensei. It's something I've already come to terms with. [ maybe. probably. kind of. ]

Well I haven’t, and I’m going to find a solution.

If you’re not opposed to stop aging it might even be relatively simple.

[ stop. making. him. HAVE FEELINGS. ]

...

[ goes back to chopping veges in a pathetic attempt to distract himself. ]

What do you mean?

Well I'm stuck in time, forever thirteen until i find a solution for that.

In my case it was an accident. But I know exactly what part of the formula I used caused this so I can't see why I wouldn't be able to recreate it intentionally for someone else.

If what happened to you is causing some sort of deterioration, or using it is making your health worse, this would simply have you stuck in time.

But I can -- look it over when I'm slightly less emotional and with more time to consider all factors.

I… I suppose that’s one solution to it. [ he didn’t think there’s be any solution, if he’s being honest. ] …it’d be difficult to explain to my family. [ but exceedingly more difficult to have to watch all of them die. ]

…hey. [ turns, grabbing for five and yanking him into himself for a hug. ] Have I ever told you how much you mean to me?

[ he knows watching your entire family die and never die of old age is not exactly a good scenario but right now he can't focus on that. At the hug he's surprised but eventually he returns it, quiet for a moment ]

More or less. You've shown it plenty, though.

[ a pause, then he adds ]

Sorry. With all this I hadn't even acknowledged your nightmare.

Don’t apologize. I… even if it’s not an ideal solution, you’ve given me hope, and I can appreciate that if nothing else. [ drags the back of his hand gingerly across his cheek. ] I have you to chase the nightmares away, so it’s fine, and not something you need to worry about too much. [ his hand moves to the back of five’s neck, cradling his head as he angles his head for a kiss. ]

[ he'll kiss him back, though he keeps it soft and gentle, and will pull back shortly after ]

I'll worry about it as much as I please, you can't stop me.

[ chuckles, ] Is that a threat, sensei… [ he smiles, eyes twinkling. ] you’re lucky we’re planning for a date or I’d make you forget.

A kiss is all you're getting while I'm this form.

... But I'm glad that my presence has helped some. You mean a lot for me too.

I know, I’m not going to push my luck, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of making you forget using *other* methods. [ sets a hand on his head and ruffles his hair in an obnoxious manner. ] How about I just call you cute for the next hour?

[ he does slap his hand away at that ]

Then I'll have to kill you myself instead.

A honor, truly. [ laughs. ] I still have my chopsticks if you'd like to use those still. [ slips his tail around five's waist and tries to tug him over to the burners as he dips a spoon in to grab a taste. ]

Let me know if you think this needs more salt, sensei. [ holds the spoon out to him. ]

[ This is entirely too domestic he's only ever did stuff like this with Emet!!! he looks embarassed and a little uncertain but eventually he does grab a taste, humming as he considers ]

No, i think it's fine.

It's good actually.

[ childe looks delighted. ] Great-! I'm most concerned about how this dish turns out, since it's one of Xiansheng's favorites. But I did also want to share some stuff from my own nation with all of you. It's been a while since I've made any of them, and they're all really special to me. [ leans into five, setting the spoon aside and stirring the soup with a ladle. ] If you ever want me to cook for you, sensei, all you have to do is ask. It'd be my pleasure.

I see you're really set on spoiling me. We have cooks in Taisho, but well.

They can't compete with a meal made with love now can they.

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