childeishly | 🐳 imeeji; inbox.

Moral support... [ he just laughs. ] You three are as much to blame as them. And just how would you have helped in that scenario? Pat them on the back? You failed to convince them, because that's just how they are, so let them be how they are, and don't join in on the stupid.

Do *you* want to keep dying?

[ totally not amused. ] Oh, okay, so you would let one of your closer friends on another team "be stupid" if you were stuck together in this situation? And you wouldn't feel like shit about it afterwards?

Of course we are. This isn't about blame.

Also, they're not stupid! They just have learned to go about handling situations differently.

[ annoyed. ] No, but I don't want everyone around me dying, either. I'm trying to understand where they are coming from.

No? If I can't reason with them, then I'm not going to throw my life away. And I think all I'd feel is disappointment, honestly. I think this is more about... purpose. And theirs is self sacrifice for whatever good there is at the time, and there's nothing wrong with that when it's just them. You can't expect everybody to throw themselves on the proverbial blade. Like you, for instance, you have to reunite with your sister back home, so what is dying and getting corrupted going to do, ..? Nothing.

...that's the nature of this place and it sucks. You can't win. You can only find ways to cope with the bullshit you'll inevitably face. It's either you dying and them feeling bad or them dying and you feeling bad.

... [ damn that's logical. he's got nothing to counter with so he just flops back in the bed miserably and sighs. ] Yeah, you're right.

[ He doesn't like it any better, though. ] So I can't do anything for them.

[ has to refrain from saying “I know”. ]

…that’s not true. Maybe they’ll come around, or play a bit safer during certain games when their lives aren’t the only ones on the line. Heart has been trying more, yeah, so it’s not a hopeless situation.

... Are these games fair in their rules? Do the hosts always follow them?

It seems like it... but fair isn't the right word. The games are made to force hard decisions and usually only a small handful of people can win by design.

...Got it. I'll just have to figure out how to cope with it that's least painful for everyone else, too.

Having a good support system helps, so... you can always come to me if you need anything, alright?

... Really? I mean, you've said it before, but... I'm not so amnesic that I would assume you serious beyond a nice gesture being offered.

Edited (wtf English I speak it ) 2021-09-19 21:34 (UTC)

[ shrugs. ] I guess you won't know until you try to take me up on it then, huh?

Aha, you sure are a sucker for punishment. I accept and will wait for the time to find out.

I am a bit of a masochist. [ laughs. ] Good. Now why don't you get back to relaxing. Today was tough.

Thanks for being there.

Anytime. It’s the least we can do for each other here. Sorry to have brought on such a depressing topic, but it’s better you know.

You bet. My door's always open if you need a place and don't know where to go. Sorry for kitnapping you in the first place. [ kit because you are a fox. ]

Honesty about the realities is needed. I don't need to be told it's okay or not my fault or whatever. I don't need snuggles and cuddles and stuff. [ not that he doesn't like them. but he doesn't need them, and they won't help survive the next game. ]

[ shrugs. ] It's fine. It's not like I couldn't have just left...

Hah. I wouldn't knock *all* the affection... because sometimes it can be better than a bandaid.

Yeah, I believe it... but I'm not sure I'm ready for it, I don't think. Maybe soon.

Affection is great, everyone in HSS is cozy with each other, but when it's affection in response to things like dying in a game... I don't feel anything. It seems better or on others for now.

It'll hit eventually, I guess.

Everybody's different. If it never clicks don't worry about it. It's not like it has to.

Yeah you're right.

[ Fire silent and send like that's the end of it, but Aether sits up suddenly on the bed now. ] Actually, I'm going to go out, I don't think I can just relax here right now, and I don't want to be uptight around the others in the soft room.

[ Putting his socks and shoes back on. ] Need anything while I'm out?

No, but... do you want me to come with or would you rather be alone?

Do you want to come? I'm more than happy to have your company, but you were resting earlier.

[ shrugs. ] I'm just waiting for Xiansheng to stop coddling everybody so we can go to bed, so in the meantime I'm free as a bird. [ he'll change into a fox and climb onto aether's shoulder. ]

[ grabbing his scarf and heads out of the room, closing the door. ] Get you back here for Zhongli-sensei's curfew. Got it.

How about we go get the tiny dot ice cream treats? They look fun.

I don’t think I’ve ever had those before, so sure. [ swishes his tail happily. ]

Re: day 400, late evening

skyshard - 2021-09-20 23:53 (UTC) - Expand