I don't know. I don't think I'm ever going to be able not to feel like this either. There are days where it's easier and then it comes crashing like this.

I spent all night yesterday feeling like I really wanted someone to just chop my limbs off and have fun with my body. I didn't indulge that thought, before you worry about it. But I did also thought doing that to someone else would have been just as fun.

I'm always going to be jealous seeing you with other people and knowing you have others waiting. But I also don't know what to do about it.