childeishly | 🐍 serpent horizon inbox.

I have some minor injuries. Nothing that won't get better soon enough.

[ a pause, then he adds ]

I won't be too destructive about it. But it will happen again. Pain is something I enjoy.

I know. It never ends. [ murmured under his breath. he makes no comment about how much he likes pain. he doesn't want to think about what all went on during that disaster, but it had to have been recent. he takes out his phone to see how many days have passed, ...four. he snorts, setting it down and shutting his eyes. ] I guess it hadn't been that bad then. [ he buries his thoughts and feelings as he tries to get up, but he wobbles, eventually slumping into a tree. ]

I didn't offer my body parts for pleasure. But I am telling you because you were upset about Haruki.

[ he doesn't believe that mochi didn't get off at least once during this entire ordeal. ] He didn't do it for a game. He did it because he wants to leave a mark on you and make you his, but... it's none of my business. [ he raises a hand, because he can't raise both. ] It's done me no good to get upset. [ and it makes even less since now that they've broken up. ] I'm just glad you're feeling better. [ and he'll leave it at that. ]

[ he did in fact absolutely get off during the entire ordeal. But he's quiet for a moment at his words ]

...

Do you still want me?

[ HE KNOWS YOU MOCHI. ]

I feel like I should be the one asking you that...

I'm pretty sure you dumped me.

I know.

It just felt like too much at the time.

And now?

It still feels like too much.

But I was really scared I lost you.

...feelings are always going to feel like too much, but I don't want you to do something that you don't want to do. [ and mochi seems to like being free, so tethering him into a relationship feels... weird, even if it's something he wants. ] I don't think Tsukiakari wouldn't mind as much as I thought. I bet you could even get along. [ he smiles for half a second. ] He's traveling now... [ and childe is still not sure he could convince him to stay in teyvat, but maybe he doesn't have to. not anymore. time isn't as important of a factor now. ] But it's you decision. I like you, Mochi, and I do want something more, but... if you don't feel the same, then that's... that's fine.

I can't be yours alone. And I can't handle having to balance those sort of expectations. Haruki is important to me too. And there are others I sleep with, that I will keep sleeping with.

But I do want to be yours.

I know. I'm not expecting that. [ since he has other people too. ] ... [ no comment on haruki. he can take a long walk off a short bridge for all childe cares. ] I guess I should ask if you're going to keep on expanding your, ah, [ man, this is awkward. ] sleeping circle.

I don't know.

[ a pause ]

... There is someone I made arrangements with after the last game. Jamil, on Salamander.

But if someone is interesting and I think it could be fine, I'm generally for it.

...mm. I understand. I... I'll think about it then.

Is it a problem for you?

[ he doesn't want to admit that it kind of us, but this isn't just about him. it's about mochi too, and ultimately childe wants him to be happy. ] It's a me thing. Don't worry about it. [ he flashes him his best lopsided smile as he sinks back down to the ground, sitting up against the tree now. ]

[ shifting so he can move onto his lap, arms around his neck ]

I'm glad you were able to meet Tsukiakari again. ...You're different too.

[ his breath hitches as mochi climbs into his lap. ] ...me too. [ he hesitantly puts a hand on mochi's hips. ] I am different, and that's part of the reason I need to think about this. I don't want some flight of fancy. [ as great as a good fuck can be. ] I want real and raw emotion... [ it's the strong bonds he's a sucker for. ]

So if I can't commit you can't either.

[ which makes sense. It's just difficult ]

... It's not like I don't feel anything for you.

I know I'm going to get jealous, and I don't want another explosive blow-out to happen. I don't like fighting... not like that... not with you...

So you did miss me.

Of course I missed you.

I took everything out of your room because I thought you were going to disappear, and I didn't want it all to be lost.

[ ...oh. how dare you hit him right in the feels. ] I guess you saw my little pet project then, huh? [ all the different flowers he was attempting to grow. ]

The plants? I've been taking care of them.

[ childe nods. ] I said I would give you flowers, remember? so I started trying to grow my own.

[ oh. oh ]

... I didn't realize they were for me.

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