You just put yourself in jail, smartass, not you have to roll doubles to get out. Good luck. [ and then he just stares at zhongli, like... what, appeal, you don't get to appeal this decision. you spend his money all the time!!! he is the bank!!! ]
If you can roll higher than me [ sets both dice down. ] then I'll think about making you part time banker every other weekend.
No, that's not how it works. You told me I could buy any building I landed on and I bought the jail. So now I own it. You can buy it from me after you file an appeal. Zhongli is right.
[ childe rolls a pair of loaded dice, so he gets a 12. ] aw. Look at that Xiansheng, I'm the banker. Pity for you both. [ just slides over the 200. he's over arguing little rules, because he's just going to start making up his own rules now too. ]
And because I rolled doubles... I get to roll a second time. [ moves his piece beyond the jail. ] I don't need your jail, because it looks like I own the railroads now. All of them, because they're connected. I hope you two don't need to travel.
... [ oooh. he's infuriating. he gives him 1000 dollars. ] It's tax day. As president of the bank I get 10% of all of your money. Pay up. [ holds his hand out to scaramouche while peering at zhongli's piece sitting on boardwalk... how in the fuck. whatever. he needs park place too. ]
It's $400 if you'd like to buy that, Xiansheng. And would you like to buy a rail pass? I'll let you travel to any railroad anytime.
[ Waiting for Childe to buy the property for him. ... And the rail pass. That's how this works, right?
To Scaramouche: ]
I'm afraid that will cause a conflict of interest as you are in charge of the legal system. An additional person should be appointed to investigate corruption within the system.
I'd nominate myself as the only citizen not a member of a committee, but I am retired.
Both? Both of... [ squint. the hell is he... looks from board walk to park place to zhongli. is he... is he serious. you know what, no, it's fine. he just hands him both of the cards and takes some money from his side of the board. he's sure zhongli is going to take some of his own money at some point too, so fair is fair. ]
He's right, Pitchka, conflict of interests. [ ... ] Xiansheng, unretire, and be the legal system or whatever we're talking about. [ because he's swiftly losing track. ] Actually, no, I got this. [ he gets up and walks off for a few minutes and then slams down the game of risk. he throws the lid off and dumps all of the armies out. ] Let him TRY to evade taxes. I'm sending my bank armies after him.
Roll to evade! [ grins like a lunatic. ] You can't escape me and my tax army!
This isn't fair! Why do you get an army? We should get Zhongli as the commitee! I refuse to roll. Your army will defect and come to my side because I'm prettier.
Because you have a jail. And Zhongli IS the committee, isn't that right, Xiansheng? And you can't refuse to roll, tell him, tell him he can't refuse to roll! [ he's going to start flicking dice at scaramouche. all the dice. every. last. die. ]
And ha!!! my army is loyal, so loyal that you may as well start calling me the Tsar! [ takes a horse and makes it step on scaramouche's hat piece. ] And because Zhongli is an upstanding citizen... [ going to take some of scara's money ( if he lets him ) and try to give it to zhongli. ] We're debt collecting for the government.
[ is hit in the face with *all* of the dice. swats his hands in the air wildly, as if one of them may catch a die and slap it away. his drunk coordination is shit, so he likely looks like an idiot. ] Pitchka! [ and then the board flips and all of the little pieces go flying. ] What?! [ NO! ]
YOU DIDN'T W- [ he's about to slam his hands down on the flipped board, and start listing all of the reasons of how he didn't win when zhongli says that, perhaps, they should do something else. ]
[ going to give the both of them cheek kisses... more than one, probably a dozen, honestly, as he drags them through the dorm, into the elevator, and to the garage. his beast of a truck is sitting there in all of its glory! ]
[ He did mean Tartaglia. But when Zhongli says it like that, how can he do anything else but be a menace. So he will wait for his opportunity, and once they are in the truck
he will reach for Zhongli's face so he can plant a kiss to his cheek ]
[ stares, looking between the two of them as they exchange kisses, his face coloring a few shades darker. ] I want more kisses too! [ thankfully zhongli was on top of that and he gets his own cheek kiss, his tails wagging, because he's pleased. apparently it's as easy as asking? ] More!
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childeishly) wrote2022-09-08 09:36 am
Re: it's time for monopoly.
If you can roll higher than me [ sets both dice down. ] then I'll think about making you part time banker every other weekend.
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Roll for an appeal!
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I believe that means I receive 200 mora.
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And because I rolled doubles... I get to roll a second time. [ moves his piece beyond the jail. ] I don't need your jail, because it looks like I own the railroads now. All of them, because they're connected. I hope you two don't need to travel.
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May I purchase this?
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It's $400 if you'd like to buy that, Xiansheng. And would you like to buy a rail pass? I'll let you travel to any railroad anytime.
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[ Waiting for Childe to buy the property for him. ... And the rail pass. That's how this works, right?
To Scaramouche: ]
I'm afraid that will cause a conflict of interest as you are in charge of the legal system. An additional person should be appointed to investigate corruption within the system.
I'd nominate myself as the only citizen not a member of a committee, but I am retired.
Please do pay your taxes properly.
Re: it's time for monopoly.
He's right, Pitchka, conflict of interests. [ ... ] Xiansheng, unretire, and be the legal system or whatever we're talking about. [ because he's swiftly losing track. ] Actually, no, I got this. [ he gets up and walks off for a few minutes and then slams down the game of risk. he throws the lid off and dumps all of the armies out. ] Let him TRY to evade taxes. I'm sending my bank armies after him.
Roll to evade! [ grins like a lunatic. ] You can't escape me and my tax army!
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Oh. so this is the infamous Fatui debt collection in action.
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And ha!!! my army is loyal, so loyal that you may as well start calling me the Tsar! [ takes a horse and makes it step on scaramouche's hat piece. ] And because Zhongli is an upstanding citizen... [ going to take some of scara's money ( if he lets him ) and try to give it to zhongli. ] We're debt collecting for the government.
Re: it's time for monopoly.
And then he grabs the board and flips it ]
That's it! I'm done with this stupid game. So I won, and you both lost.
Re: it's time for monopoly.
I believe the result is inconclusive but perhaps a game with less intrigue and simpler rules might be preferable.
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YOU DIDN'T W- [ he's about to slam his hands down on the flipped board, and start listing all of the reasons of how he didn't win when zhongli says that, perhaps, they should do something else. ]
...
We could go shopping. I mentioned that earlier.
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...Yes! And you will buy things for me.
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Tartaglia does take a lot of pride in spoiling those he cares for.
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[ grabs the both of them and starts trying to drag them to the door. ] I'll drive. [ this is a bad idea. ]
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Ah, he's cute when he tries to spoil you, isn't he? Mmm ... I want a kiss.
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Oh.
Dragged away now.
And since he's still a little tipsy he has to clarify ]
I assume you mean from Tartaglia?
Re: it's time for monopoly.
Everybody in! [ unlocks it. ]
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he will reach for Zhongli's face so he can plant a kiss to his cheek ]
I can get all the kisses I waaaant.
Re: it's time for monopoly.
Oh.
He makes a sound that seems to be somewhere between surprise and thanks before turning his head to kiss Scara's cheek.
And oh-- leaning over him to kiss Childe on the cheek.
That was only fair! ]
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1/2
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