[ he’s not going to make it through this game alive. ] Whoever owns the most properties gets to be the government. You own the majority of the land, and then you can make the rules. Once everything is bought, then we’ll see who owns this board.
[ he passes out the play money. ] So you need to earn that title, Ptichka. And as for being the banker, the Regrator isn’t here, and as a member of the Fatui that helped run the Liyue branch I’m the only qualified person. [ so nyeh! ]
To absolutely be the most pedantic... you are the worst with money. [ going to move the bank as far away from zhongli as humanly possible. ] And you can buy whatever you land on Pitchka, not whatever you like. [ he regrets monopoly already. this was the worst game to choose, especially when he's buzzed beyond belief. he can't keep track of all of the rule breaking that's going on ALREADY. ]
You just put yourself in jail, smartass, not you have to roll doubles to get out. Good luck. [ and then he just stares at zhongli, like... what, appeal, you don't get to appeal this decision. you spend his money all the time!!! he is the bank!!! ]
If you can roll higher than me [ sets both dice down. ] then I'll think about making you part time banker every other weekend.
No, that's not how it works. You told me I could buy any building I landed on and I bought the jail. So now I own it. You can buy it from me after you file an appeal. Zhongli is right.
[ childe rolls a pair of loaded dice, so he gets a 12. ] aw. Look at that Xiansheng, I'm the banker. Pity for you both. [ just slides over the 200. he's over arguing little rules, because he's just going to start making up his own rules now too. ]
And because I rolled doubles... I get to roll a second time. [ moves his piece beyond the jail. ] I don't need your jail, because it looks like I own the railroads now. All of them, because they're connected. I hope you two don't need to travel.
... [ oooh. he's infuriating. he gives him 1000 dollars. ] It's tax day. As president of the bank I get 10% of all of your money. Pay up. [ holds his hand out to scaramouche while peering at zhongli's piece sitting on boardwalk... how in the fuck. whatever. he needs park place too. ]
It's $400 if you'd like to buy that, Xiansheng. And would you like to buy a rail pass? I'll let you travel to any railroad anytime.
[ Waiting for Childe to buy the property for him. ... And the rail pass. That's how this works, right?
To Scaramouche: ]
I'm afraid that will cause a conflict of interest as you are in charge of the legal system. An additional person should be appointed to investigate corruption within the system.
I'd nominate myself as the only citizen not a member of a committee, but I am retired.
Both? Both of... [ squint. the hell is he... looks from board walk to park place to zhongli. is he... is he serious. you know what, no, it's fine. he just hands him both of the cards and takes some money from his side of the board. he's sure zhongli is going to take some of his own money at some point too, so fair is fair. ]
He's right, Pitchka, conflict of interests. [ ... ] Xiansheng, unretire, and be the legal system or whatever we're talking about. [ because he's swiftly losing track. ] Actually, no, I got this. [ he gets up and walks off for a few minutes and then slams down the game of risk. he throws the lid off and dumps all of the armies out. ] Let him TRY to evade taxes. I'm sending my bank armies after him.
Roll to evade! [ grins like a lunatic. ] You can't escape me and my tax army!
This isn't fair! Why do you get an army? We should get Zhongli as the commitee! I refuse to roll. Your army will defect and come to my side because I'm prettier.
Because you have a jail. And Zhongli IS the committee, isn't that right, Xiansheng? And you can't refuse to roll, tell him, tell him he can't refuse to roll! [ he's going to start flicking dice at scaramouche. all the dice. every. last. die. ]
And ha!!! my army is loyal, so loyal that you may as well start calling me the Tsar! [ takes a horse and makes it step on scaramouche's hat piece. ] And because Zhongli is an upstanding citizen... [ going to take some of scara's money ( if he lets him ) and try to give it to zhongli. ] We're debt collecting for the government.
[ is hit in the face with *all* of the dice. swats his hands in the air wildly, as if one of them may catch a die and slap it away. his drunk coordination is shit, so he likely looks like an idiot. ] Pitchka! [ and then the board flips and all of the little pieces go flying. ] What?! [ NO! ]
YOU DIDN'T W- [ he's about to slam his hands down on the flipped board, and start listing all of the reasons of how he didn't win when zhongli says that, perhaps, they should do something else. ]
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childeishly) wrote2022-09-08 09:36 am
Re: it's time for monopoly.
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[ he passes out the play money. ] So you need to earn that title, Ptichka. And as for being the banker, the Regrator isn’t here, and as a member of the Fatui that helped run the Liyue branch I’m the only qualified person. [ so nyeh! ]
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I can buy whatever, right?
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Not to be pedantic---
[ Said as someone who is about to be pedantic ]
But as the god of wealth, I also believes that makes me qualified for the position as well.
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and then just put it in jail ]
I own the jail now, and I will put you two there.
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How unfortunate. We didn't even get a trial.
What die do I roll to attempt to file an appeal?
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If you can roll higher than me [ sets both dice down. ] then I'll think about making you part time banker every other weekend.
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Roll for an appeal!
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I believe that means I receive 200 mora.
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And because I rolled doubles... I get to roll a second time. [ moves his piece beyond the jail. ] I don't need your jail, because it looks like I own the railroads now. All of them, because they're connected. I hope you two don't need to travel.
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May I purchase this?
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It's $400 if you'd like to buy that, Xiansheng. And would you like to buy a rail pass? I'll let you travel to any railroad anytime.
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[ Waiting for Childe to buy the property for him. ... And the rail pass. That's how this works, right?
To Scaramouche: ]
I'm afraid that will cause a conflict of interest as you are in charge of the legal system. An additional person should be appointed to investigate corruption within the system.
I'd nominate myself as the only citizen not a member of a committee, but I am retired.
Please do pay your taxes properly.
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He's right, Pitchka, conflict of interests. [ ... ] Xiansheng, unretire, and be the legal system or whatever we're talking about. [ because he's swiftly losing track. ] Actually, no, I got this. [ he gets up and walks off for a few minutes and then slams down the game of risk. he throws the lid off and dumps all of the armies out. ] Let him TRY to evade taxes. I'm sending my bank armies after him.
Roll to evade! [ grins like a lunatic. ] You can't escape me and my tax army!
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Oh. so this is the infamous Fatui debt collection in action.
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And ha!!! my army is loyal, so loyal that you may as well start calling me the Tsar! [ takes a horse and makes it step on scaramouche's hat piece. ] And because Zhongli is an upstanding citizen... [ going to take some of scara's money ( if he lets him ) and try to give it to zhongli. ] We're debt collecting for the government.
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And then he grabs the board and flips it ]
That's it! I'm done with this stupid game. So I won, and you both lost.
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I believe the result is inconclusive but perhaps a game with less intrigue and simpler rules might be preferable.
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YOU DIDN'T W- [ he's about to slam his hands down on the flipped board, and start listing all of the reasons of how he didn't win when zhongli says that, perhaps, they should do something else. ]
...
We could go shopping. I mentioned that earlier.
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...Yes! And you will buy things for me.
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